Dinner For Two
copyright 2003, by
These characters were created by Thomas
Harris. They are used herein without permission, but in the spirit of
admiration and respect. No infringement of copyright is intended, and no
profit, of any kind, is made by the creator, maintainer or contributors to this
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“Clarice, what are doing up? You should be resting, get back to bed.”
“I was hungry.”
“What do have in you hand? Something to bash me over the head with? Put it on the table.”
Clarice did as she was told and placed the snow globe on the table.
“Good girl, now sit down.”
“What are we having? It smells good.”
“You should never ask, it spoils the surprise.”
“Dr. Lecter, may I ask you something?”
“Anything my dear.”
“Not that I’m complaining mind you, but why does Paul have duct tape covering his mouth?”
“It seems Mr. Krendler was having some type of an episode in which he was unable to refrain from speaking. It was necessary in order for me to continue with my plans for this evening. I will remove it if you wish.”
“That’s okay. I kinda like him this way.”
About that time the front door opened and Paul Krendler entered. The good doctor looked to Krendler number one, then to Krendler number two, then finally to Clarice and said as he arched a brow, “It seems as if we have a slight situation here.”
“That’s an understatement, don’t you think?” Clarice said, while trying not to laugh. “What exactly was Paul saying that caused you to tape his mouth shut?”
“He was quite adamant about the fact that he was not Paul Krendler. I just assumed he was trying to find a way out of our dinner this evening. Perhaps my assumption was mildly flawed.”
“Mildly!” Clarice said as she burst out laughing. “I would say this classifies as a major boo boo!”
“Really Clarice, I understand that you’re still under the influence of the morphine, but boo boo?”
By now, Krendler had made his way to the dining room, completely ignoring the FBI Agent and Cannibal at his table. He couldn’t take his eyes off of the man strapped to the wheelchair seated before him. “It’s you! It’s really you!” Paul howled. “You were great in Field of Dreams! I must have seen it at least fifty times! But what was up with that elephant movie?” Since Paul was otherwise engaged, this gave Dr. Lecter the opportunity he needed to rectify his previous miscalculation as he came around the table, pulling a small syringe from his jacket and injecting Krendler number two with its contents. Krendler gave no sign that he had even felt the intrusion until he collapsed onto the floor.
All of the sudden Clarice let out a small scream. “What is it my dear?”
“It just dawned on me.”
“What, if I may ask, just dawned on you?”
“Well, if the guy on the floor is really Paul Krendler, then do you have any idea who the one in the chair is?”
“I’m afraid I don’t have the slightest indication Clarice.”
“I do.” She said smugly
“Will you be sharing this information with me, or am I to be left in the dark on this matter?”
“Oh yeah…right, Dr. Hannibal Lecter, may I introduce your hostage, Ray Liotta.”
Mr. Liotta, who had been paying close attention to this interaction, with great interest, raised both eyebrows as he nodded with a ‘I told you so’ sort of look.
“Clarice, just out of curiosity, how is it that you know this man?”
“You’re kidding right?”
The look she received from the doctor confirmed the fact that he was definitely not kidding.
“I guess you don’t go to the movies much, do ya?”
“Okay, okay. He’s an actor, and a pretty good one at that. I never noticed how much he looked like Paul before.” She explained as she got up to remove the tape from his mouth. With one swift stroke, she freed Ray’s mouth.
“Ouuucch! Son of a bitch, did you have to pull so fast?” Clarice just shrugged.
“Mr. Liotta, I apologize for the misunderstanding, but I must ask you to calm yourself. There’s no need for such language in front of a lady.” Dr. Lecter warned.
This caused Clarice to smile as she looked over at the doctor who was becoming more agitated by the second. He really hates it when his plans are interrupted, she thought.
“I don’t give a shit if the fucking Queen of England is here, get me out of this damn chair, NOW! Just you wait. You’ll be hearing from my lawyer! If you think you can get away with this shit you’re just fuc……”
With that, Clarice slapped the tape back over Ray’s mouth and said, “Now you’re just being rude and apparently you have no idea just how fatal that can be, especially in your position.” Turning to the doctor she said, “I hope Paul has plenty of Tupperware, looks like there’s going to be quite a few leftovers.”
The expression on Dr. Lecter’s face was priceless. He did not even try to hide the elation in his eyes at his little Starling’s statement. Looks like dinner is still on after all.
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